Openminds

As a female in business, I have often found myself fighting back tears at moments when I least wanted them to appear. Sometimes I won that battle and sometimes those tears came out regardless of my resolve. Recently, I was discussing this topic with a group of male business leaders who insisted that it was NOT okay for women to cry. Particularly in the boardroom.

That made me ask myself a few questions. Why is it okay for men to often express their emotions through anger in a boardroom but not okay for a women to express hers through tears? Does it show a fundamental leadership weakness when we give in to tears or to anger? And, why is it considered okay for a man to slam his fist on the boardroom table to make his point but not okay for a female to show her emotional reaction to the same situation in a different way?

The answer is that neither reaction is great but both are understandable. We are, after all, human. We each react differently to any given circumstance. That’s as true when you compare one female to another, as it is when you compare one male to a female. Women and men often do have different emotional reactions to the same situation. We simply have a different chemical makeup so it’s only natural.

I would offer to you that showing no emotion in the workplace is, in my humble opinion, far worse than a controlled emotional reaction that is honest and heartfelt.

I doubt that any person who has worked for me over the years has not accepted that once in a while I will cry. I also doubt that those same individuals have ever questioned my capability or dedication to the work and task at hand as a result of a few tears shed over frustration, disappointment or fear.

There is nothing wrong with crying. Neither is there any shame in being angry at a situation. There is only something wrong when those emotions then drive a reaction or response from the person that becomes detrimental to solving the business issue at hand.

Business is hard. Business can be incredibly draining. But business does not have to be without heart, emotion and care. Triple bottom line business today is being embraced by the world. Caring about the social, environmental and financial success of a business means that the company has to have a heart. And sometimes, that heart can cry, get mad or be elated.

The days of faceless, heartless corporations are gone. Women and men today are creating business with souls. And, tears are not a sign of weakness but of truth. I suspect that the organization of the future is going to have to be one that accepts the human condition and allows emotion not to rule but to be understood and embraced.

Technorati Tags: women, business, emotions, crying, etiquette

This entry was posted on Friday, January 4th, 2008 at 11:56 am and is filed under Business Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.